Boone the rebel

I think Boone is entering the rebellious teenager phase. Good lord, the dog drove me up the wall yesterday at work. I don't know what his issue was, maybe he was just tired, or having an off day but I wanted to throttle him!

The work day started off well enough he approached one customer on his own, came over with some coaxing by mean for a couple more and even took a treat out of one woman's hand which is a huge step for him. He got told off by a German Shepherd, freaked him out a little but not overly so. He spent most of the day on his bed behind the counter while I attempted to conquer the canned food wall (I never want to touch another can again by the way). Later in the evening though he not only growled at every customer that came in he'd also bark and not his pathetic little excuse of a bark a full, I mean business bark that sounded like it came from a dog twice his size. It ticked me off and confused me, he'd been so good that morning. Maybe I pushed him too far to greet customers?

Co worker comes in with her 8 week old Mini Dachshund, Dante. Cute little guy and I found it insanely amusing to watch him scruffy around on the floor. Boone seemed rather intrigued by the little guy, not quite sure at first but quickly seemed to change his tune and happily followed the little guy around the store and try to play with him which of course didn't go well as Boone likes to use his front paws and "step" on smaller dogs well playing with them, which is fine he's not a big dog himself but Dante is a wee little man and I didn't want Boone to hurt him in his excitement. For whatever reason Boone took a sudden wariness to my co worker. Any time she spoke, or played with Dante he growled and took off to his bed, at one point started barking at her and then pissed all over the floor as he ran to his bed and pissed on his bed. Brat. At that point I'd had enough of him. I shut him in the grooming room, tossed his bed in the washer and left him there for a bit. When I went back there to let him out he acted as if I'd beaten him and scrambled around the grooming tables away from me while pissing. So once again I left him in the back, let him work out whatever his problem was. An hour before I left I went back and tried again and he came out willingly enough. I cleaned up his pee in the back and he seemed back to his normal self again.

He had a good run through the park before getting in the car, found something to chase I'm assuming a squirrel and you'd never know he'd been such a grumpy little elf. He spent the whole car ride home in the back seat which he hasn't done since late September/early October. Another big step for him as the front seat was always a no no, that was Drifter's seat and if Drifter ever saw him in that seat Boone got a good telling to. But around this time he started making short visits to the front seat while I drove and now sits there as if its been his seat all along so it was odd he spent the whole trip in the back seat last night. Once home he went straight to his crate and that was that.

I hope to high heaven this was just a one day bad mood.

Training begins now

Boone saw the behaviorist yesterday and he's been diagnosed with fear aggression, separation anxiety and stereotypic behavior. So here's the plan that's been made up.

Boone gets very nervous when people come into the house, anyone besides me or my father sends him hiding and pissing himself. Which is a step above growling and trying to bite them but I'd rather have non of it. So the follow plan has been put into place:

- Install a tether (leash) on the couch as discussed (make sure it is secure)

- Before answering the door tether Boone

- Answer the door

- Once the guest enters ask them to stand approx 10 ft away from Boone and toss him small meat and/or cheese treats for 3 minutes straight

- After the treat tossing keep Boone tethered

- Ask visitors to toss Boone treats whenever they get up and walk around

- Other than tossing treats make sure all visitors completely ignore Boone (like bad art), and keep at least 5 ft away from him at all times (this will require 100% supervision of your guest)

- If certain guests are unlikely to follow your rules best to have Boone safely put away elsewhere

Once there is constant positive reaction from him when visitors first come into the house, meaning he doesn't go off into hiding but instead gets excited at their arrival we move to him not having to be tied to the couch and instead allowed to move around the room freely but with a muzzle on to avoid any costly back tracks.

His recent issue with other dogs had me worried. Drifter was some what dog aggressive and I'd rather Boone not be and he wasn't up until Drifter was put to sleep. The behaviorist has said that it is due to loosing Drifter. Drifter and I were a security blanket to Boone. He gained confidence from both of us, especially Drifter when out and about, with Drifter gone Boone has lost this security blanket and though he still sees me as a source of comfort and safety he has lost on half of that and he's showing that by his sudden aggression with other dogs. The plan for this:

- While Boone is on leash keep other dogs at least 10 ft away from other dogs at all times

- Try using a basket muzzle at the park

With the obsessive circling which is the sterotypic behavior, he believes Boone has done it so much that it now is creating endorphins in his brain when he does it. He said there had been a video being passed around between behaviorist of a Rottie who was doing the same thing and had not only worn down the grass to bare dirt in the yard but had actually worn down the dirt so that there was a well defined groove where he circled. When interrupted the Rottie would become aggressive he thinks Boone isn't far from this and was very intrigued by it as I believe it was the first dog he's seen other then in that video who did it. So the plan for ending this obsessive behavior:

- Discuss the temporary use of an anti anxiety medication (i.e. clomicalm) with your vet

- Whenever Boone is outside he should be kept from circling either: i) by engaging him in play or ii) by providing him a distraction (stuffed frozen kong, drilled stuffed nylabones…)

The last issue was with the boyfriend. Boone and boyfriend really have no interest in each other. Boone is fearful/nervous of him and avoids being in the same room as him if I'm not there and boyfriend ignores and generally wants nothing to do with him as he's been bit by Boone a few times now. So the plan to get these two liking each other a little more and living together nicely:

- Boyfriend avoid all touch with Boone

- Keep treats on him at all times

- Toss treats to Boone frequently

- Play fetch daily in the following manner: boyfriend tosses the ball, Boone retrieves it to me, I toss the ball to boyfriend – repeat for 20 minutes

I've got my hopes up in this. It'd be great for Boone to be mentally well and happy with life. I'm sure right now he's not happy in life, not with his constant fear and nervousness and its upsetting, another dog I'm sure would help him but we just aren't set up for a second dog at this point as well as boyfriend and I's relationship is kinda rocky right now.

So wish me and Boone luck! I know this can take months to see positive results but its still exciting to have a plan now and be able to set it in motion for Booney.

All Summer Long

Finally the real summer weather has arrived! It's been so rainy and drag here for most of the summer, didn't feel like summer at all for the longest time but now its beautiful and me and Boone have been unstoppable. We've been down to the Mississauga lakefront, down to the river several times and then yesterday I looked up a few trails near the house that we might try and happened upon Forks of the Credit Provincial Park. It was only 40 minutes or so away so I got ready and we hit the road.

The drive was beautiful, windows down, sunroof open and the radio blaring some driving music. I love driving through the country side, just a few short minutes and all of a sudden all the buildings and the look of a city is gone, just fields of corn, farms, wild fields, open spaces of nothing, old farmhouses boarded up and abandoned. Some of the roads were almost vacant of cars so it was beautiful. Boone had his head hanging out the window for most of the drive down the empty country roads, something he normally doesn't do unless the car is stopped or going very, very slow. So he obviously enjoyed all the smells.

Had to pay to park, that was a bit of a downer for me but luckily I had change and off we went. We spent an hour and a half wondering around the trails, came upon several other groups of people who most had to stop and say hello to Boone and comment on how he seemed to be enjoying himself. Boone was just a goof out there, playing in the pond, chasing dragonflies, butterflies, frogs, minnows, birds and rolling in something I suspected was poop as I couldn't actually see it due to the tall grass on either side of the cut trail. Even came across what looked like the remains of a house. Boone had to stay on leash as per the rules of the park and the fact that they were patrolling the trails in little golf cart type things, of course you heard them before seeing them so when there wasn't anyone around I did let go of his leash. Hey the leash was on it just wasn't in my hand... the rules stated nothing about that just that all dogs had to be leash and under control which he was. I could have spent the whole day out there, but the bugs were nasty and I had only paid for 2 hours of parking. So we headed back home, Boone had a quickie swim in the pond, and then hopped into the car muddy and wet. I had placed towels on the back seat for such an occasion but he decided this wouldn't do and shoved them all to one side so he could get the back seat good and dirty.

Geese and swans and sticks oh my!

I think Boone had a pretty darn good day today. It was the first sunny day day in what feels like forever, not a rain cloud in sight. So me and the boyfriend as well as Booney hopped into the car and went off to do some errands before I was shown how to get down to the lake. The first place we got to we couldn't get now to the water, there was a small spot we might have been able to get down but it was pretty gross looking. Boone had to deal with bird watching from afar. Poor guy was quivering wanting to get at them so bad. Boyfriend brought up that he knew another place further down the road where he thought I might be able to get down by the water, so off we went.

Sure enough we were able to get down by the water. The beach was separated by thin groupings of trees and brush in 3-4 different sections. The first one we happened upon had a family with several small kids so I opted to move onto the next when I saw the trail going through the tree grouping. There were a few people there as well so onto the third, no one was at this section but it had a flock of geese, swans and ducks sitting just off shore and on the beach. Boone froze and just watched them, so being the evil woman I am I let him off the leash and he bolted into the flock of birds. The birds either took to the water and swam out to what they thought was a safe distance which was only a few meters off shore or took to the air. Several mostly the geese and a one swan started flapping their wings and honking at him once they were a "safe" distance away. The swan in particular was rather upset, one goose started to come after him at one point.

The water was too gross for myself but I figure Boone could use some fun in the water so finding a stick I started tossing it into the water, the swan was not impressed and got pretty upset several times but didn't come after him, mostly just alot of talk and no action. Boone was unfazed now that he had his stick. We stayed until a couple came down and set up "camp", umbrella, radio, towels, cooler and started stripping down to their swimsuits so I figured they were going to be around awhile may as well head back to the car. So back we went, Boone is passed out in his crate, barking and running in his sleep so I take that as he had a good day. I never thought to bring my camera unfortunately.

Agility hopeful

This new park is such a blast! Boone loves the agility course there, especially the jumps. It didn't take him long to figure out what I wanted him to do, I only had to point and say "over" to a few jumps before he got the hang of it and I could point out a jump and he'd go flying over it unless of course he got distracted by a few other dogs. Silly beast, his focus needs works as do many other things. He loves the A-frame as well, there are two there but he's better at the smaller one and isn't so keen on the larger. I didn't bother with anything besides the jumps and A-frame today, decided to stick with what he liked, we did a couple one overs of the dogwalk though.

I've also decided that he really, seriously needs to see a professional to work out his behavior issues. He is a million times better with strange people now, but I've noticed at the dog park he'll start fights, not much contact is made but there are alot of vocals. usually after he bites the bum of the wrong dog one to many times or gets the tables turned on him and gets chased around which is fun for a bit but he'll suddenly get a fright and start snapping at whatever he can dog wise. So the people issue calmed down but now he's going after dogs. This is why we go early in the morning, but this morning I got out a little late and there were a few people there unlike on Monday where there was no one around for a good hour. Picking a trainer is so hard, I don't want to mess him up any further and I know some trainers shouldn't go about trainer a goldfish let alone a dog and this scares the beejesus out of me. But it has to be done I suppose. For his sake and then after his issues are hopefully dealt with we can find come agility classes and get a little more serious about all of this. I think he really could be a good agility dog, he really does love it but his nervousness gets in the way of alot of things.

A day at the park

I bucked up today, I took Boone to a dog park. The first time since early spring I believe where he was screamed at and chased by a toddler and ran after him then bit the mother when she reached out to him. Never broke the skin though. He did great. He gave a few people funny looks but was distracted enough by the other dogs and I think knew better to not do it. it was around 10:30 in the morning we got there I believe and already had around a dozen people there with dogs. I thought there wouldn't be very many but guess I was wrong, maybe I should head out even earlier next time. Anyways he did great for awhile then started getting to big for his britches and started biting other dogs on the bums and raising his hackles with some growling and showing of teeth. What?! Yeah, my social butterfly (at least with other dogs) went all cujo. NOT ACCEPTABLE! When he got like this I quickly called him over and had him stick by my side in a down position or go to an empty area of the park where he could calm down. This helped. We ended up leaving when they started up the riding lawn mower to cut the grass, Boone will go after it as he goes after the push mower so I figured it was time to leave then.

This park is wonderful! 4 acres, completely fenced off into 5 different sections for the dogs and another section for small children where dogs aren't allowed so there is no fear of them getting hurt and a dog getting frightened. There is the woodlot area that can be separated from the rest of the park, lots of trees, the ground is covered in large wood chips, nice logs to sit on. Beautiful spot. There is a small dogs only area that can be blocked off, an agility course that can be blocked off, the main area and a large open field with a drinking and hose down pad that can be blocked off. I took a few pictures but not many as I was keeping a close eye on Booney.

Totoredaca "Toto" Leash Free Park
http://www.totoredaca.org/


Sniffing around the woodlot.


A small area of the woodlot.


Time to drink a barrel of water and then barf it back up 10 seconds later. Silly dog.


Part of the agility course. It has a couple A-frames, a see saw, weave polls, some jumps, a tunnel, dog walk and a pause box.


part of the field and drinking/hose down pad.


Part of the main area and the boardwalk in and out of the park. The small dog area is behind the large clump of trees to the right.

Planning ahead for the future

Boone has shown that he thrives off other dogs. He loved being with Drifter even if Drifter never showed the same enthusiasm to him. They keep him busy, happy and he gains confidence off them that he otherwise lacks by himself. Of course this can't happen where I am now, as it is we are over the pet limit (one pet per unit unless permission is granted which it has twice by the two cats, the fosters are snuck in, shh don't tell) and even if we did ask permission they aren't fond of having two dogs in one unit. Plus the yard is too small for two dogs to share it properly if I can't walk them for a day or two. it wouldn't be fair. So until that moment arrives I've been window shopping for a companion.

I'd love to adopt an older dog, had always said I would as they are often the last to be considered. But I worry that Boone's level of energy would be too much for most of them. There is always that exception though so for now I won't be canceling out the golden oldies completely.

"Hi....my name is Bandit. I am an older fellow....and I am very much in need of a home where I can live out my final years. I know I am a spaniel mix..so that makes me very friendly. I used to live outdoors...by the side of my owner's house...and I would only have a cardboard box to lay in. This wasn't a very nice way to live. I would love to have a warm blanket and good food to fill my belly. I also have an injury to my right eye. I was hit by a car once upon a time and my injury was not seen to. It doesn't bother me too much now as I am used to it. I can still be your best friend....take long walks with you and love you unconditionally. Please come and meet me..I NEED a family to know what it is like to be loved."

Isn't Bandit adorable?! I love his face. it doesn't give an age so I wonder how old he is but he looks like a nice little fellow. I get the feeling from the text that he's more interested in sleeping at your feet rather then romping with a psycho puppy.

"If you are looking for a sweet loving young dog ( who is smaller too ) to join your family, you are looking for Kiya. She is UNBELIEVEABLY loving and affectionate and would make a super addition to any family. She is only 7 months old and deserves a real family to love and care for her. She was brought in on June 19 when her family decided that they didn't want to take care of her anymore...she is sad now."

She's begging to come play with Booney!

"This gorgeous girl is Kilo. She was brought to the shelter on June 4 to hopefully find a TRUE family to love and care for her. She is a beautiful dog who is also very well behaved. She is sad right now,not sure why she is living in a shelter. Can she be the right doggie to add to your family?? She is only around a year and a half old."

Another gorgeous face that I want to snuggle and kiss. I think she'd be a great pal for Boone.






"Blossom was surrendered by a family who was leaving the province and couldn't take her with them. She is a good dog who is just looking for someone to love her and look after her as she enters her senior years.

Blossom is a 7-year-old (my best estimation) field bred Springer Spaniel who is a real sweetheart. Blossom is energetic, healthy, and spayed.

Blossom is very loving and very well-behaved. She is perhaps one of the most docile dogs you could ever meet. She is good around cats, other dogs, children and adults. She knows how to sit, stay, fetch and a few other tricks and she will pretty much do anything for a treat.

Blossom needs to lose weight; she loves to get out walking. She needs some leash training as she has a tendency to pull, but she will walk off leash with you (well, a few metres ahead but she will come running back for a treat).

Blossom rarely barks, loves being scratched and rubbed, and likes to sleep on the bed if you will let her (She snores like a monster!).

Blossom does like company though - she would not do well being along for long periods. She is very bonded to people, so someone at home, or another dog to keep her company would be best.

Blossom loves riding in the car - so she could come along too on errands.

Overall, she is a lovely companion dog for someone. I hope we can find her a loving new home."

I'm sure once she lost her extra weight she'd be an awesome buddy for Boone and myself. I love everything about her from the text. Oh if only the future could be now I'd snatch her little spotted bum up in a minute!

You make me smile, please stay for awhile now

So wake up this morning and something is off. Boone isn’t in the room! Now he’s moved from his crate to being leashed to the bed beside me. From there he has gone back to his crate to now just being shut in the room with us and sleeps beside me on the floor. He’s done well, not one accident but I put that down to he was there with me, he won’t go if I’m in the room with him. But I wake up this morning and the door that had been closed is now wide open and he isn’t in the room with me. I groan my feelings about it, knowing there is going to be a mess by the front door on the beige carpet. Look over at the clock and its 6:30am why the hell am I up at this hour? I just went to bed at midnight! Decided to face the doo I roll out of bed, Boone comes leaping up the stairs all too excited that I’m awake and moving around. I glare at him accusingly hold my breath as I go down the stairs to face…




NOTHING!
No crap, no pee, no shredded item beyond recognition! The was house was as I left it the night before! Could he be he’s really growing up and growing a brain?! I just about died but I won’t be trying my luck anymore, and the boyfriend will be getting an earful when he gets home as he’s the one who left the damn door open when he went to work this morning.

So this put me in a pretty darn good mood. The feelings for Drifter are there but I’ve managed to talk myself into good thoughts and had a wonderful dream of him the other night that I’m sure was him telling me everything is alright, he’s happy and waiting for me at the bridge. So with my new found good mood I shower, dress, grab Boone’s squeaky tennis ball and out the door I go. He wasn’t up to playing catch today, he’d run after it in the back field and then either drop it half way back or not bring it back at all but run around he did and roll around he did. He had a blast out there with me chasing him around. Now off for a nice walk before things get too warm, maybe I’ll go down to the river so he can romp about down there.

Back from the walk. Found a new way down to the river that’s closer (but sucks compared to the other way) and stupid me wore capris and now my legs are sore from stupid prickly bushes and itchy for who knows what. But Boone had fun, had a short swim, I had planned to kick off my shoes and go in with him but the rocks were covered in slimy brown gunk down there, so it didn’t happen. The whole walk he was off leash he did awesome now we’re home and he’s not moving! What?! Yeah, not moving, why is he not moving? Did I actually tire him out with? No, I refuse to believe he you can’t tire this dog out, it’s impossible. So what’s going on? Well whatever it is I’m not going to complain. So an hour of throwing the ball around/chasing him around, a half an hour walk and then another hour of making him run up and down the stairs for his ball has him a little drowsy? I was planning on another outing later today.

Well, I’m an idiot apparently. I picked up his tennis ball and made it squeak and up he rose from his flaked out pose on the floor. Maybe he was just content since he just had 2 ½ hours of running around. I had to ruin his peaceful, non-moving state and now he’s up and throwing the ball around the house for himself and dropping the ball at my feet while looking at me with giant puppy eyes begging me to play unless I don’t love him enough. So guess who's been suckered into throwing the ball around for him?

All you did was save my life

I've mentioned before on here about Drifter having liver problems, grade 4/5 heart murmur, seizures, arthritis, and losing most of the control with his bowels/bladder. Well the past week he went down hill more so, having them several times, messing in the house 3-4 times a day without having a seizure, his back legs were giving out on him, he could barely walk for more then 5 minutes before they'd start to shake and he'd have to lay down. My mom had banished him to the garage to sleep.

Monday evening we put him down. I've dealt with death before working at a shelter and several vet clinics but its different when its your pet. He was 9 years old, we had each other for 8 years, 8 wonderful, short years. He made every day worth it to me, we were so in tune. Even my mother agreed (who is in no way an animal person) that he was very human in his personality and emotions. Within a month or so we went from being able to go for 2 hour walks through trails and rivers to 30 minute walks(on a very good day) where he had to lay down every few minutes because his legs would shake and get weak.

During his last day he was spoiled, taken up to the Port Dover beach where he sniffed with such enthusiasm I thought his nose might fall off, he marked his claim proudly as if he were still 2 years old and rolled in bird crap all too happily before having a good roll in the salty grass. He loved his car rides and had a few nice long ones during his short few hours left. Sitting in the front seat proudly. He was spoiled with treats that had been forbidden to him for so long as we tried to help him loose weight... pizza, chicken, pork, cookies, cheetos and chips. I even stopped by Tim Hortons so he could have himself his usual plain donut, actually two, I had bought one for Boone so he wouldn't feel left out but he didn't eat his fast enough and Drifter decided it was fair game and stole it from him.

The flast 5 hours before he passed on I took him down to the lakefront, I often took him down there when I still lived at home. He was whining in the car the moment he smelt the air, and tugged at his leash as soon as he was out the door, unable to curb his joy. He trotted about again proudly marking this place as his, mucked about in the lake for a while before having to go and rest in the long grass that grew from the sand, he'd come back over several times to spend some time with me, my brother and Boone before going to rest and rolling in only he knows what, probably crap.

Then it was back home where he was loved on, told he was a good dog, that we loved him, would miss him and wished there was something else we could do for him. Minutes before my dad and I took him out for a hot dog which he inhaled in one bite, so pleased that he was allowed to have it and it was all for him, my dad poured water from a bottle into his hand for him to have a nice cold drink afterward, took him for a quick visit to his old stomping grounds, where he played with a handful of other dogs in his younger years and even found himself a girlfriend. He wondered around, marking his claim and glancing over to his girlfriend's house who used to live just across the field before having a good roll. From there we headed to the vet clinic my dad, instead of putting Drifter in the back seat, went back there himself so Drifter could sit in the front. Drifter has always sat in the front, cries when he can't. He loved riding shotgun with me or my dad, he lived for that. My dad thought he deserved one last ride as co pilot.

As was his nature, he happily and proudly walked into the vet's office without a leash or collar, he listened so well we hardly bothered with them for things like this. he laid down on some blankets they had set up for him, and waited for his fate that I'm sure he knew was coming but didn't let it on at all. He was happy even to the end, his tail wagging even as they gave him that final needle. His eyes looking at me as I held his head so he wouldn't hit it off the floor when it happened. He fought it for a second and then slowly rolled and I laid his head down, petting him while it took affect, gave him a kiss between his eyes like I always did before I left or went to bed and told him it would be OK soon, he'd be healthy again, able to run around without pain, no more scary seizures would touch him, my dad sat beside him as well, crying. I don't remember ever seeing him cry before. In 60 seconds he was gone... my dad laid on him, crying.. "I loved you!" "you were a good boy Drift!" and then left the room. I stayed longer, laying on the floor, resting my head on his side like I used to and stroked his face whispering "I'm sorry, I love you, your were the best dog, a good boy, you didn't do anything to deserve this we just wanted to help you". His body felt cold suddenly, I was sure there was no way he would get cold that fast but he felt cold to me, I fixed his head so it was more on the blanket then covered him "your cold Drifter, we can't have that, let mama cover you up" and I left the room.

He meant the world to me... to the rest of the world he was just a dog to me he was so much more, he was my child, my friend, my protector, a gentlemen, my pillow, my teddy bear, my shoulder to cry on and keeper of my secrets.

Every time I went out to visit on weekends I'd always tell Drifter "next time we'll go to the beach" or "next time I'll take you out for Tim Hortons". I feel awful that I didn't make time for these things then. So make next time this time, you never know how much time you have left. I thought I had a few years left with him, thought I'd have lots of time to make up for things.

RIP my boy, you deserve it.

On a happier note

Trying to see the happy things around me. It's not easy but at least it's something. Boone is pretty handy to have around when you need to smile. I was looking at some pictures of Drifter from a few years ago, so of course I was starting to cry. I heard trampling going on downstairs I head down to see what the heck the animals are doing as none of them are upstairs and this is what I found. My camera happened to be on the table so I was able to catch this. He's done it before and I think its just adorable, but have never been able to catch him doing it as the camera is never close by.



They'll do this for hours and did. He ran up and down the stairs, from room to room for hours until all of them crash out, panting. Once everyone caught their breath it started all over again until Finn got trampled by the the other three and then I called an end to it as they were getting too carried away.

So Boone being who he is doesn't want to stop. I figured it was time to let the kittens have a nap and stuck him outside so they could. I believe I've brought up his circling habits before but now I have it on video, not the best as it was taken from the second floor through the street but you get the idea. He'll do this the whole time he's out there.



What am I going to do with him...

Painted this big ol' smile on my face to hide my broken heart

Drifter is getting worse. He's had a few more seizures, and more accidents in the house that aren't connected to him having a seizure. Loosing control? I think the seizures are taking a toll on his body causing him to have this accidents in the house now even when he's not having a seizure. I noticed on the weekend he's having trouble with his back legs... they move very stiffly and sometimes in a funny gait. His back legs have never given him trouble before. His body is dying while his mind isn't. His body is giving out, worn down, quitting while his mind is still happy, ready to keep going and bright. It's not fair, this would be so much easier if his mind was failing too. I'm heartbroken, depressed, frantic to try and avoid what I know is coming. I try to deny its going to happen, whats happening but it doesn't work very well. My baby is dying, there is no way around it.

I look at Boone and I think of Drifter, how Boone fails so much in comparison. It's not fair to Booney, I know but I can't help it. How do you go from best to second best? How do you lose the most important being in your life and move on? How do you not get angry, not blame those that aren't to blame? I feel so lost, I feel like I've failed in protecting him, told him I'd never let anything hurt him every again but here he is, hurting.

Remember the good times I'm told, well how?! I remember them and then think that those times are gone, he's dying I won't ever see that again.
I'm told he's just a dog. No he's not! He's so much more to me, he means so much more then anyone in my life. It's like loosing a child. Sure you can have more but it won't be the same won't be him.
I'm told I'll get over it. Maybe... someday, maybe not. Maybe the pain will just grow more dull over time but never truly go away. I doubt I'll ever get over it fully. You'll get over the death of you grandfather, your child, your mother won't you? That's what I thought.

I'm so sorry Riffer-roo...

Catch Up

So yes, I’ve been slacking off yet again, not a big surprise. Anyways last Sunday I went out to see the folks as I had planned to get the new furniture and what not but we couldn’t get a truck rented. So we’ll be doing that this Saturday. Either way had a nice day out there with Drifter and Boone. Drifter was overjoyed to see me and even played with Boone like a puppy until he got tired. Boone fell into the pool, poor guy looked like a rat trying to get out after he surfaced. I yanked him out by the collar and he ran for his life to the neighbor’s yard. I took a whole whack of pictures and even a few of Drifter running! –gasp-

In more recent news I decided to ride my bike more as sitting around all day stuffing my mouth is doing very little good for me. I knew Boone needed some good workouts as well as he never gets tired so I figured why not bike and walk Boone at the same time? One problem Boone is afraid of bikes… well not afraid I don’t think but he’s wary and not a big fan of them. If they go past him normally he’ll either get very upset then bite whoever he can or lunges at the bike/runs off after it. I wasn’t sure how he was going to respond, would he try to bite me? Figured the only way to know and to get him used to bikes was to try and keep trying. The first couple minutes he wasn’t too sure, kept giving it the hairy eyeball and then it all came together and he was loping alongside the bike beautifully without a hitch. Well, our turning needs some work but that’ll come along I’m sure. Yay Booney!

Yesterday night we went down to see the Canada Day fireworks. I brought Boone more as a test to see how far he has come and to show him people aren’t bad. He’s never shown fear to loud noises so I didn’t think the fireworks would scare him. It was pretty crowded once we got down there but he didn’t act up too bad a few little scurries to run away from an ice cream truck and some screaming 14 year old girls. He had his muzzle on just in case however, I sat on the ground with him once the fireworks started and he climbed into my lap watching the light show, there were a few moments were he started to shake but the last firework was the worst, I scared the crud out of me when it went off, it was so loud and long. A lot of people were covering their ears and Boone attempted to run backing up and starting to panic. I pulled him in covered him with my sweater and snuggled into his head which seemed to help. Once that was over I sprang up and darted into gaps in the crowd to try and get the heck out of dodge as fast as possible. Boone did well, he was all to eager to leave but we managed to get out of the crowd pretty quick and Boone was trotting ahead of me tail wagging and nose held high inhaling the smell of the pubs and Tim Horton’s that we parked beside. My only complaint with the night was the amount of people that stepped on him, kicked him, and hit him in the head when they were moving their lawn chairs around to find a good spot, not only did no one except for one guy say sorry but they all turned and gave me dirty looks! I was ready to start screaming at them, and the little 14 year old girls that kept screaming at the top of their lungs right behind us.

So that was the last week in a brief overview. Saturday we head out to Hamilton and collect the new furniture. Yay!

Here comes good-bye...

Drifter's time here is drawing to a close... it breaks my heart. The idea has been on the table for a month or so now but I've brushed it off as silly and something that wouldn't actually happen for another few years. But my parents are moving at the end of July across the country, they feel the move will be too stressful and hard on him. They don't want to risk him having a seizure in the car while they are driving or while he's kenneled on the ferry. They don't want him having a seizure in a hotel room and like usual now losing control of his bladder and bowels. My dad who was steadfast in his decision to not have Drifter put down only a few weeks ago and was actually having fights with my mother about it has even come to agree with the idea.

It doesn't seem fair. He's still happy, he's still enjoying his usual things. The seizures are getting to be more common and are really starting to take a toll on him with each one it gets harder. He can't control his bathroom needs during one, he's even had a few accidents in the house which is not at all common for him. He has a Grade 4/5 heart murmur that has never seemed to cause him any issues but it is a health problem that can, his liver isn't working like it should anymore either. His arthritis is pretty bad leaving him almost completely immobile after a short walk for a day or two despite taking glucosamine for it twice daily. Despite all of this he's still happy, his eyes are still bright and full of life and joy. I sat with him on the floor when I had an ice cream while picking of Boone the other day after a weekend away and he was so very eager to have some so I chewed the chocolate coating off and let him have some of the vanilla ice cream. He was so pleased. Of course he did his usually grunting noise, sounding like a pig when he sees food and/or wants your attention.

He's 9 years old, it can't really be his time can it? He'll be 10 in October, at least that is where I put his birthday as he was a stray and we adopted him on Halloween so it became his unofficial birthday. He's come a long way from that first day. I remember my dad asking if I wanted to go up to the shelter to have a look around which wasn't out of the norm. We looked around, lots of dogs, lots of Pitties, there was a three legged Rottie mix there which I adored as well as a litter of fawn brindle mutt puppies. My dad finally asked if there was any dog I really liked. I knew right there we were going to be bringing a dog home! I was beyond excited. We'd had a dog previously before moving to Ontario, we'd gotten him from a pet store when I was 6 or so. A cute little black and white mutt I called Cuddles. I remember going to school one day coming home and Cuddles was gone, my mother had given him away, no warning no nothing. Left home with my best buddy Cuddles came home and he was gone. She hated having dogs. So I was beyond excited when my dad asked me this as I had been aching for another dog.

I immediately brought up the 3 legged Rottie mix, my dad quickly said no, he didn't like Rotties and wouldn't have one in his house. Fine... so we moved on down the rows, I came across a beautiful Husky mix that was oh so friendly and starving for attention, my dad said no again, that being part (or very well full Husky) he'd easily jump our fence and be gone. OK... Came across the row that held Drifter (who was then nameless) and the litter of fawn brindle mutt puppies. Drifter was curled up in a ball, very skinny and very dull even though he was only 6 months old (we found out later he was actually closer to 11 months). I had to decided, a staff member came over to see if she could help and said that Drifter was probably close to if not done growing while the puppies would all end up twice his size. It also came out that Drifter was to be put down the next day if he wasn't adopted. That sealed the deal, the next day on Halloween we took Drifter home.

The next day we picked him up, he was terrified of the minivan. Wouldn't go in and kept trying to run, he ended up breaking his new collar but ran a few strides and then stopped. My dad picked him up and put him in the van. When we got home we didn't have any dog food ready (bad us) so we warmed up some left over supper and gave him that. While putting the bowl of food down He grabbed my thumb and ripped skin off from the tip to the base before jumping away and cowering. I had dropped the bowl and once I hobbled away from it holding my thumb and crying he lunged for the food eating it as quickly as possible all the time keeping an eye on me and my dad. It was then we quickly realized he was food aggressive, its only been a recent success that I've been bale to tone it down to the point that when someones does go to his bowl or walks near him be it animal or human he'll give a small growl but back off. We phoned my mom that day and my dad told her "when you get home they'll be a dog waiting at the front gate for you" to which she replied "there had better not be". Sure enough Drifter was sitting at the front gate when she got home.

We all went in for supper and Drifter started crying his head off. I went to go let him in but he would have none of it, he acted terrified that I was giving him the option of coming into the house. It was clear he'd never been in one before, my dad had to come pick him up and take him downstairs to the basement (where he was banished because of mom). He was so confused and scared, it took him awhile to learn stairs and even now he doesn't really like them especially if they aren't carpeted. He hates floors without carpet. Eventually in time he was allowed upstairs but only on the rug at the top of the basement stairs. The rug happened to rest in the middle of the hallway, in front of my room, the living room and kitchen. He could watch everyone from his spot on the rug and with this he was content.

He learned quick, he figured out who liked him and who didn't. Those who he knew liked dogs he'd greet by jumping on them and being rowdy with while those that he knew were nervous/scared or disliked dogs he'd go over to slowly and sit very still just for a short pat on the head and then he'd leave them be. Strangers on the property were a big no no to Drifter. It was more then once he cornered people in our backyard that were reading the meters and didn't warn us not to let him out. We'd only realize the mistake when we heard yelling and Drifter barking in a special tone that he only reserved for such occasions. Yet he adored the mail lady at that house. I'm sure it helped that she carried around a bag of dog cookies for all the dogs on her route. Any stranger could win Drifter over with a cookie. One cookie was all it took to get his blessing. Unless he really didn't like you and usually he was right on and the person proved to be a not so nice being.

We moved down the road to a new house when he was around 5 or 6. It was here his hatred started of mail carriers. He'd toss himself at the front bay window, snarling, growling, spitting. We all worried that one day he'd break through the glass and that poor carrier would be running to save his behind. He still does that to this day, hates the man for whatever reason. At this house he also got himself into some trouble. My brother would constantly leave the back gate open when he'd grab his bike for school in the mornings. We'd put him out for the day and head off not knowing any better. Well Drifter would nudge the gate open all the way and plop himself down on the front porch to wait the arrival of his family. Our neighbors tried to get him back into the yard once fearing he might run off and get hurt but Drifter would have none of it. He'd stand on the very edge of the property and bark at them. How dare they step toe on his land! So they instead would back off and watch him to make sure he didn't get hurt or into trouble. Sure enough he never left the property. I'd usually be the first home and he'd pop his head up from behind the brick wall of the front porch and come running. I would be informed by the neighbors that they had watched him all day to make sure he was OK. You can imagine however that behind the brick wall of the front porch he could perform sneak attacks on the letter carrier. The mail man would come around to the steps and Drifter would then pop up, and chase him to the edge of the property. I'm sure the poor guy lost years of his life with each surprise attack.

Then there was the time me and a friend that my mom often drove to school with me where waiting in the car one morning. My mom was still in the house getting ready. Suddenly she came bursting out saying Drifter was in the pool and tangled in the solar blanket! We went flying out of the car and into the backyard to see Drifter floating in the middle of the pool with the solar blanket tucked under him as if to use it for a flotation device. I found it funny after that he'd tucked it all up under him so that he'd float. I managed to get the edge of the blanket and drag him over to the deck and yank him out. I guess where he'd never been around a pool before that he had gotten confused with the solar blanket on the pool, it must have looked like a solid surface and he'd tried to walk on it. After that and to this day he won't go near the pool and should anybody be in the pool he plasters himself to the front door.

He's my baby, my puppy no matter his age and with all the good memories I have of him throughout the years its depressing to think its all done and over with. The years have flown by... but I have to remember that I can't be selfish that even though he doesn't look like his suffering on the outside inside his body is suffering and dying. I try to block it out but when I can't and reality floods in I can't function until I decided to pull myself together. So far I've been able to pull myself together have I break down, but I know that once he's gone it won't be as easy.

Picture Day