Here comes good-bye...

Drifter's time here is drawing to a close... it breaks my heart. The idea has been on the table for a month or so now but I've brushed it off as silly and something that wouldn't actually happen for another few years. But my parents are moving at the end of July across the country, they feel the move will be too stressful and hard on him. They don't want to risk him having a seizure in the car while they are driving or while he's kenneled on the ferry. They don't want him having a seizure in a hotel room and like usual now losing control of his bladder and bowels. My dad who was steadfast in his decision to not have Drifter put down only a few weeks ago and was actually having fights with my mother about it has even come to agree with the idea.

It doesn't seem fair. He's still happy, he's still enjoying his usual things. The seizures are getting to be more common and are really starting to take a toll on him with each one it gets harder. He can't control his bathroom needs during one, he's even had a few accidents in the house which is not at all common for him. He has a Grade 4/5 heart murmur that has never seemed to cause him any issues but it is a health problem that can, his liver isn't working like it should anymore either. His arthritis is pretty bad leaving him almost completely immobile after a short walk for a day or two despite taking glucosamine for it twice daily. Despite all of this he's still happy, his eyes are still bright and full of life and joy. I sat with him on the floor when I had an ice cream while picking of Boone the other day after a weekend away and he was so very eager to have some so I chewed the chocolate coating off and let him have some of the vanilla ice cream. He was so pleased. Of course he did his usually grunting noise, sounding like a pig when he sees food and/or wants your attention.

He's 9 years old, it can't really be his time can it? He'll be 10 in October, at least that is where I put his birthday as he was a stray and we adopted him on Halloween so it became his unofficial birthday. He's come a long way from that first day. I remember my dad asking if I wanted to go up to the shelter to have a look around which wasn't out of the norm. We looked around, lots of dogs, lots of Pitties, there was a three legged Rottie mix there which I adored as well as a litter of fawn brindle mutt puppies. My dad finally asked if there was any dog I really liked. I knew right there we were going to be bringing a dog home! I was beyond excited. We'd had a dog previously before moving to Ontario, we'd gotten him from a pet store when I was 6 or so. A cute little black and white mutt I called Cuddles. I remember going to school one day coming home and Cuddles was gone, my mother had given him away, no warning no nothing. Left home with my best buddy Cuddles came home and he was gone. She hated having dogs. So I was beyond excited when my dad asked me this as I had been aching for another dog.

I immediately brought up the 3 legged Rottie mix, my dad quickly said no, he didn't like Rotties and wouldn't have one in his house. Fine... so we moved on down the rows, I came across a beautiful Husky mix that was oh so friendly and starving for attention, my dad said no again, that being part (or very well full Husky) he'd easily jump our fence and be gone. OK... Came across the row that held Drifter (who was then nameless) and the litter of fawn brindle mutt puppies. Drifter was curled up in a ball, very skinny and very dull even though he was only 6 months old (we found out later he was actually closer to 11 months). I had to decided, a staff member came over to see if she could help and said that Drifter was probably close to if not done growing while the puppies would all end up twice his size. It also came out that Drifter was to be put down the next day if he wasn't adopted. That sealed the deal, the next day on Halloween we took Drifter home.

The next day we picked him up, he was terrified of the minivan. Wouldn't go in and kept trying to run, he ended up breaking his new collar but ran a few strides and then stopped. My dad picked him up and put him in the van. When we got home we didn't have any dog food ready (bad us) so we warmed up some left over supper and gave him that. While putting the bowl of food down He grabbed my thumb and ripped skin off from the tip to the base before jumping away and cowering. I had dropped the bowl and once I hobbled away from it holding my thumb and crying he lunged for the food eating it as quickly as possible all the time keeping an eye on me and my dad. It was then we quickly realized he was food aggressive, its only been a recent success that I've been bale to tone it down to the point that when someones does go to his bowl or walks near him be it animal or human he'll give a small growl but back off. We phoned my mom that day and my dad told her "when you get home they'll be a dog waiting at the front gate for you" to which she replied "there had better not be". Sure enough Drifter was sitting at the front gate when she got home.

We all went in for supper and Drifter started crying his head off. I went to go let him in but he would have none of it, he acted terrified that I was giving him the option of coming into the house. It was clear he'd never been in one before, my dad had to come pick him up and take him downstairs to the basement (where he was banished because of mom). He was so confused and scared, it took him awhile to learn stairs and even now he doesn't really like them especially if they aren't carpeted. He hates floors without carpet. Eventually in time he was allowed upstairs but only on the rug at the top of the basement stairs. The rug happened to rest in the middle of the hallway, in front of my room, the living room and kitchen. He could watch everyone from his spot on the rug and with this he was content.

He learned quick, he figured out who liked him and who didn't. Those who he knew liked dogs he'd greet by jumping on them and being rowdy with while those that he knew were nervous/scared or disliked dogs he'd go over to slowly and sit very still just for a short pat on the head and then he'd leave them be. Strangers on the property were a big no no to Drifter. It was more then once he cornered people in our backyard that were reading the meters and didn't warn us not to let him out. We'd only realize the mistake when we heard yelling and Drifter barking in a special tone that he only reserved for such occasions. Yet he adored the mail lady at that house. I'm sure it helped that she carried around a bag of dog cookies for all the dogs on her route. Any stranger could win Drifter over with a cookie. One cookie was all it took to get his blessing. Unless he really didn't like you and usually he was right on and the person proved to be a not so nice being.

We moved down the road to a new house when he was around 5 or 6. It was here his hatred started of mail carriers. He'd toss himself at the front bay window, snarling, growling, spitting. We all worried that one day he'd break through the glass and that poor carrier would be running to save his behind. He still does that to this day, hates the man for whatever reason. At this house he also got himself into some trouble. My brother would constantly leave the back gate open when he'd grab his bike for school in the mornings. We'd put him out for the day and head off not knowing any better. Well Drifter would nudge the gate open all the way and plop himself down on the front porch to wait the arrival of his family. Our neighbors tried to get him back into the yard once fearing he might run off and get hurt but Drifter would have none of it. He'd stand on the very edge of the property and bark at them. How dare they step toe on his land! So they instead would back off and watch him to make sure he didn't get hurt or into trouble. Sure enough he never left the property. I'd usually be the first home and he'd pop his head up from behind the brick wall of the front porch and come running. I would be informed by the neighbors that they had watched him all day to make sure he was OK. You can imagine however that behind the brick wall of the front porch he could perform sneak attacks on the letter carrier. The mail man would come around to the steps and Drifter would then pop up, and chase him to the edge of the property. I'm sure the poor guy lost years of his life with each surprise attack.

Then there was the time me and a friend that my mom often drove to school with me where waiting in the car one morning. My mom was still in the house getting ready. Suddenly she came bursting out saying Drifter was in the pool and tangled in the solar blanket! We went flying out of the car and into the backyard to see Drifter floating in the middle of the pool with the solar blanket tucked under him as if to use it for a flotation device. I found it funny after that he'd tucked it all up under him so that he'd float. I managed to get the edge of the blanket and drag him over to the deck and yank him out. I guess where he'd never been around a pool before that he had gotten confused with the solar blanket on the pool, it must have looked like a solid surface and he'd tried to walk on it. After that and to this day he won't go near the pool and should anybody be in the pool he plasters himself to the front door.

He's my baby, my puppy no matter his age and with all the good memories I have of him throughout the years its depressing to think its all done and over with. The years have flown by... but I have to remember that I can't be selfish that even though he doesn't look like his suffering on the outside inside his body is suffering and dying. I try to block it out but when I can't and reality floods in I can't function until I decided to pull myself together. So far I've been able to pull myself together have I break down, but I know that once he's gone it won't be as easy.